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Posts Tagged ‘happiness belongingness dreams music nature’

Some days back, my friend gave me one of the best advices I could have ever got to keep myself happy. He asked me to list down the ten moments of my life till now when I felt most happy. I have been trying to list these moments, and every time I set to do this, I lose myself in the pleasant memories of those happy moments and never get beyond listing more than 4-5 moments. I wonder if I will be ever make list of top 10 such moments, for the process of listing happy moments itself so often becomes such a wonderful moment. Its classic case of “observation influencing the result” <sorry, however hard do I flash the MBA “it depends” card, at core I remain an engineer and swear by theories and definitions!>

If you have a career graph that has VRCE, IIMA, MNCs and own start-up as data-points, you can be reasonably sure that your achievement section on resume will be well-populated. I know I am bordering on the wrong side of boastfulness, but then – at times it is ok to make yourself feel better by praising yourself. It does a great deal of help than eating chocolates at nights to overcome that sad depressing feeling of uselessness. This may make you feel that you should be happy person with all these shiny medals in kitty. But looking back, when I count my happy moments; none of the above features in the list. I feel all these are results of such a long arduous process that may be when I got them, I didn’t really care for them. <well now that’s certainly being boastful, but then – chalta hai … kabhi kabhi bol lena chahiye>. These don’t get into my top happiest moments; rather they are the things which give you inspiration and courage that you need when you are lying low and sulking in your own self.  This doesn’t really count in as a provider of happiness. I have seen the movie “In Pursuit of Happyness” and adore Will Smith and that kid doing those inspiring stuff to be happy. But I sincerely feel happiness is question of a moment, and not of the age-long journey to it. What you get after happiness is feeling of contentment, or achievement. And it is different from happiness. Your family sacrifices life for you and you reciprocate. That stems from the pure and true love, which again transcends beyond happiness. I think it ranks at a level higher in the evolution stream of feelings, and tilts more towards the eternal bliss that your family provides you.

So what is happiness? What does that moment of being happy do to you?

The more I think about it and try to put an index or rank to it, more I feel that these are moments which simply refuse to die. They remain there carved at the back of mind or heart or liver or whatever. But one thing that they do in common is to bring instant smile to face, and relieve all sorrows and pains and sadness at once. They are like those Bengali Rassogullas which melt in mouth, and leave the sweetness behind… for a long long time … till the taste buds get wiped clean of sweetness by the masala of daily life, and you crave for the same Rassogulla and sweetness again.

Surprisingly, whatever has been my top 4-5 happiest moments – first slot has always gone to a dream! I remember just a 3-5 second snippet of that dream. That is all I have always remembered and recollected since the minute I woke up after seeing that dream. It was one of those moments when I simply didn’t want to wake up and wished I could stay in my dream. Dreams are reflection of our real lives and our wishes. Not surprisingly, the person who has been dearest to me featured in the dream. Never have I felt anyone understood me better and to this depth as that person did in my dream. The sense of relief that came with that understanding even today whoosh off all the grief and gloom of life. I thank my sub-conscious to be this understanding towards my conscious and dream such a beautiful moment for me.

Next moment, came from the eyes which told me that they owned me. All saints and noble souls have been preaching all the ages that happiness is in giving. But what has brought the ultimate happiness to me goes to the moment which told me what it means to actually be claimed by a taker to an extent that there is no give and take left in it.  Eyes have such power to penetrate through everything, like those X-Rays looking for metal under anything; they pick up the faintest inkling of belongingness in a blink. What a moment of bliss it was to get that stare of belongingness!

Following moments in the list – unsurprisingly, link themselves to music. At a height of about a kilometer above sea-level, as I climbed up the treacherous terrain, I had some wonderful Rahman music in my ears. And as I turned the curve, the sudden sight of acres of greenery presenting their full glory to me pleased me beyond limits. In that vastness of nature, I suddenly found myself as a miniscule dot, and before I could pity myself, my sub-conscious again came to my rescue, and flashed in front me the cutest smile I have seen in all my life. What more can you ask to Mother Nature? She throws at you her vastness to signal how trivial you are in the larger scheme of things, and next moment pricks your back-of-mind with such strength that will mark your place in that huge vastness. You cannot ask more!

Next moment, again not surprisingly, comes from the other passion – Cricket! First it was a desert storm at Sharjah and then the Little Master took over. Sachin Tendulkar is God – end of all discussion! I still remember myself jumping on the bed seeing Sachin hitting six straight behind the bowler’s arm, and Ravi Shastri screaming and going mad with his commentary. Gods above must also have taken a break from their boring jobs of managing routine daily life of love and hate and crime and virtue over earth and drafted this splendid moment to break their monotony. I always wonder what heavenly feeling of satisfaction this man must be getting out of bringing happiness to billions of hearts across the world. It was not the child in me who couldn’t stop jumping and clapping at that late night hour celebrating Sachin’s epic 141 against Australia at Sharjah; it was something totally celestial, totally out-of-this-world. I don’t know what made me happy at that moment, but I can feel the thrill in me even today.

Moments of happiness are meant to be like these – never fading out for any damn gloom-doom of boring life; always there to take you back to the moment when they happened, fill you with hope and leave with a promise to resurface again when needed! A promise, a hope, a relief – that life understands you… that you actually belong to your own life… that your life is not trivial, you are not trivial… and finally, it’s more than just living – it’s divine! It’s beyond comprehension of mere mortals running behind happiness. Chill!

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