Posts Tagged ‘life’

A few nights in your life get etched in your heart for the deep etch they leave on your heart. On one such night my friend offered me a piece of advice which I never accepted. What started as a totally frivolous chat went on to the wee hours of night and we ended up discussing why do ghosts of our past never settle down? Why cannot one simply make peace with past and look forward to future? We know that the scar from past life will heal with time; but life takes – and we allow it to take pleasure in the pain of needling it again and again. We keep on questioning ourselves on how can a person so close and dear to you can be so rude and insensitive to you.

My friend’s advice was that it is in our best interest to consider yourself victim at the hands of life. Make that person appear guilty for all the pain you have gone through. Punish that person in your mind, in your deeds and also in your heart. Picture that person as your villain. Once you do this, solace yourself with the thought that someone up there in skies is counting all this, and will make this villain meet natural justice, today or tomorrow. Put a lid on this painful past of yours, and move on!

I argued with her for long. I argued that one need not just see the ugly side, but also keep in mind the pleasures one has got from that person. Give that person a benefit of doubt, and hope that after sharing such fantastic understanding, one lapse of sensible reasoning was due to some conditions beyond that person’s control and hence can be pardoned. Believe that you both will return back to good times, if not completely but to some extent for sure. If someone has been bad to you does not mean that you should be equally cruel to that person. If the other person cannot change to good, why should you change to bad? Be at peace with the past, forgive, and move on!

Neither of us could win over other that night. Lives moved on, dragging their past with them. Without realizing it, I conveniently kept on endorsing either version of arguments as and when it suited me. Sincerely, I still believe in the latter argument, but feel that former is easier to practise. I myself have fallen for it.

So today when someone tried punishing me and putting me in villain’s shoes, I know there is more than what is meeting the eye. That actually strengthens my belief in my argument, and helps me make peace with my past. And move on with life.


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